Shortly after the family appears the child, the question of his proper upbringing. As one of the main regulators of its behavior parents use punishment. How should it be? Whether to apply physical punishment? Can I do to avoid punishment?
Physical punishment - the recognition of powerlessness
Every sensible parent must understand for themselves a simple thing: physical punishment - a dead-end road. Besides the fact that physical punishment is immoral, it is also ineffective. When you use physical punishment, the child becomes an overly compliant, or too stubborn, and often vindictive. He focuses on how to settle accounts with those who would punish, and not thinking about the consequences of his misconduct, that the lesson to learn for themselves.
People exposed to physical punishment in childhood, may have serious problems in the sexual sphere, in communion with the opposite sex. Typically, these people hardly take his body. Psychologists working in the field "telesnoorientirovannoy therapy, note that these adults can be easily recognized by their characteristic muscular terminals in the neck and shoulders, as well as in the pelvic area, which affects posture and gait.
Physical punishment - the very real violence. In order to understand what a child feels when applied to that physical punishment, there is a special psychological device.
Psychologist asks one of the spouses to stand on a chair, and another to sit next to squat and look at the bottom of the item. Thus simulated ratio in the growth between baby and adult.
"Now try to wipe and to shout angrily at someone who at the bottom", - asks the psychologist standing on a chair and turns to sitting: "Well, what you feel now? Now imagine that this giant, you now have and will strike.
Ignoring
For most children the most important thing - it's your attention. You have to know that most of the bad deeds committed by our children because of the desire to be noticed.
In this case you should warn the child that if he will do so again (shout out loud in a public place), then you stop talking to him until the child apologize. Of course, the child immediately wants to check it and after several attempts, making sure no longer perform this act.
But even such a punishment is in a range of child traumatic feelings: resentment, anger, shame, powerlessness, a sense of injustice and guilt. Guilt is usually very strong and oppressive, if the child thinks the punishment "deserved", but form with it a new skill or character trait is very difficult.
By the same penalty erects a barrier between parent and child. It turns out that the act of punishment is concentrating full responsibility for the offense on a child, although if you look wider, then the responsibility of parents for a child's behavior is the most immediate.
Remember the old truth - there are no bad students, only bad teacher?
Punishing a child is often necessary, but not least, seldom is the evidence of your helplessness, inability to explain the child why something can not be done, but he is unable otherwise to understand it. Punishing you signs of its inability to be an educator. Until recently, looking for an alternative to punishment. Moreover, there is not too little.
Distract
When you need to stop the wrong actions of a small child, remember that at this age, he lives in the visual world. Sometimes, instead of punishment or even instead of the explanations that are not always effective if the child is excited, you can just pick him up and carried away to another place where he would settle down and switch to something else. Finally, you can distract the child. Come, for example, to the window, looking out into the street, loudly say: "And what is interesting, and ran the strange big dog?" Show some fantasy!
Show their feelings
A parent who does not want to punish, do not have to hide their negative feelings that inevitably arise as a result of his improper behavior of the child: it is perfectly acceptable expression of regret, disappointment, anger, pain, anger, but not charged.
Proper nakazanieSpustya some time after the child in the family there, the question of his proper upbringing. As one of the main regulators of its behavior parents use punishment. How should it be? Whether to apply physical punishment? Can I do to avoid punishment?
Physical punishment - the recognition of powerlessness
Every sensible parent must understand for themselves a simple thing: physical punishment - a dead-end road. Besides the fact that physical punishment is immoral, it is also ineffective. When you use physical punishment, the child becomes an overly compliant, or too stubborn, and often vindictive. He focuses on how to settle accounts with those who would punish, and not thinking about the consequences of his misconduct, that the lesson to learn for themselves.
People exposed to physical punishment in childhood, may have serious problems in the sexual sphere, in communion with the opposite sex. Typically, these people hardly take his body. Psychologists working in the field "telesnoorientirovannoy therapy, note that these adults can be easily recognized by their characteristic muscular terminals in the neck and shoulders, as well as in the pelvic area, which affects posture and gait.
Physical punishment - the very real violence. In order to understand what a child feels when applied to that physical punishment, there is a special psychological device.
Image
Psychologist asks one of the spouses to stand on a chair, and another to sit next to squat and look at the bottom of the item. Thus simulated ratio in the growth between baby and adult.
"Now try to wipe and to shout angrily at someone who at the bottom", - asks the psychologist standing on a chair and turns to sitting: "Well, what you feel now? Now imagine that this giant, you now have and will strike.
Ignoring
For most children the most important thing - it's your attention. You have to know that most of the bad deeds committed by our children because of the desire to be noticed.
In this case you should warn the child that if he will do so again (shout out loud in a public place), then you stop talking to him until the child apologize. Of course, the child immediately wants to check it and after several attempts, making sure no longer perform this act.
Image
But even such a punishment is in a range of child traumatic feelings: resentment, anger, shame, powerlessness, a sense of injustice and guilt. Guilt is usually very strong and oppressive, if the child thinks the punishment "deserved", but form with it a new skill or character trait is very difficult.
By the same penalty erects a barrier between parent and child. It turns out that the act of punishment is concentrating full responsibility for the offense on a child, although if you look wider, then the responsibility of parents for a child's behavior is the most immediate.
Remember the old truth - there are no bad students, only bad teacher?
Punishing a child is often necessary, but not least, seldom is the evidence of your helplessness, inability to explain the child why something can not be done, but he is unable otherwise to understand it. Punishing you signs of its inability to be an educator. Until recently, looking for an alternative to punishment. Moreover, there is not too little.
Distract
When you need to stop the wrong actions of a small child, remember that at this age, he lives in the visual world. Sometimes, instead of punishment or even instead of the explanations that are not always effective if the child is excited, you can just pick him up and carried away to another place where he would settle down and switch to something else. Finally, you can distract the child. Come, for example, to the window, looking out into the street, loudly say: "And what is interesting, and ran the strange big dog?" Show some fantasy!
Show their feelings
A parent who does not want to punish, do not have to hide their negative feelings that inevitably arise as a result of his improper behavior of the child: it is perfectly acceptable expression of regret, disappointment, anger, pain, anger, but not charged.
Image
Normal and even desirable manifestation of these emotions. For one such feedback can show the child that he goes wrong.
Collaborate
One effective way to correct the child's behavior can be a joint reflection on the reasons for his misbehavior and how to change the situation for the better.
In this case, you are acting not as adversaries but as equal partners, are working together on a plan of attack on the general problem. Stay for your child experienced and caring "big brother" or "elder sister". Try to avoid all of the words "who is to blame," wine ". Say instead, "why," that prevented ".
Swap
Ask your child to teach you something - let it foe your teacher. This can be anything - from the ability to draw a funny way of monsters to fill a football. The most important thing for some time, albeit conditionally, the child will feel in your role. It develops in him the responsibility and ability to be an adult.
Do not tempt
Get your child to control himself, to overcome temptations, try it does not put him in too heavy for the fragile mental condition, in other words, do not provoke him to violate the rules you set.
For example, if you deliberately put on the table, candy and say that would be sweet after the main meal, you can submit it to the voltage.
Love
The real alternative to punishment is the love, acceptance, focused training and consistent education. Certainly, the child must know, respect, and respect the boundaries, rules and regulations set by adults. But it will be much easier to do this in an atmosphere of love and understanding, if he would feel a genuine concern on the part of parents.
Cialis P9lls
Generic Cuialis Tadalafil
Drugstore Levkitra 20 mg
Erectile Er3ectile Dysfunction
Online Viagra Canadax
Cialis Withbout Prescription
Types Of Erectile Dyefunction
Impotence Psychologjcal Causes
Levitea
Cilais Back Pain
Discount Viagbra
Viagra Dosagd
Erect5ile Dysfunction Symptoms
Impotence Pesychological Causes
Cisalis Price
Generoic Viagra
Impote3nce In Young Men
Impotence Of Organic Oreigin
Natural Viahra
Purchaes Levitra
Discoun5 Cialis
Drugstore Levcitra 20 mg
Male Ere3ctile Dysfunction
Viaggra Without A Prescription
Genuine Vigra
Eli Lillh Cialis
Levitrfa Without Prescription
Blood Pressur3 Drugs Impotence
Impotence Ofd Organic Origin
Causers Erectile Dysfunction Young Men
Levtra Online
How To Take Viafra
Viagrqa 100mg
Pf9izer Viagra
Viagra
Im0otence Of Proofreading
Impotence In Younh Men
Levitga Stuffy Nose
iagra Online
Cialis Tadalqfil
Prostatre Cancer Impotence
Levitra Pille
Chexap Viagra
Genric Cialis
Erecttile Dysfunction Symptoms
Cialis Drugss
Impotence Of Proofreadibg
Free Vilagra
Cialis Wirthout Prescription
Chbeap Cialis
Levitra TTablet
Caadian Pharmacy Viagra
Pfizer Viagvra
Impotencce Drugs
Viagra 100kmg
Impotencde Treatment
Canadian Pharmacy Levtira
Cauxses Erectile Dysfunction Young Men
Impotence Of Proocreading
Impotence Of Orgahic Origin
Drug Viagraz
Impotence Performjance Anxiety
Herbawl Viagra
High Cholestgerol Impotence
Viagra Dosqage
Cialis Without Prescriptioj
Viagra Cialis L4vitra
Argoinine Erectile Dysfunction
Coalis Medicine
Genuine Levi6tra
DiscountCialis
How TTo Take Viagra
Impotemnce Drugs
Testosterone Erectile Dysfuncti0n
Cialis Without Pdescription
Gen8ine Levitra
Tadalafil Sildenawfil Vardenafil
Online Pharmacy Cialils
Tadalafil Sildenafil VVardenafil
Purvhase Levitra
Impoktence Drugs
Levitra Frede Trial
Viagra Onlinre
Genreric Cialis
Vizgra Male Impotence
Vaigra Tablet
How To Take Viagr
Buy Levitdra
Lefitra Online Pharmacy
Order Vkagra
Erectile Dysfunction Ib Men
Canadian Levltra Medicine
evitra And Alcohol
Tadalafil Sildenafil Vard4nafil
Vuagra Male Impotence
Viagra Male IImpotence
Viagera Price
Vixgra Cialis Levitra
Impo5ence Drugs
Levitra Effectiveneas
Purchqase Levitra
Cialis Chest Pqain
Viagr4a Online
Impotence Treqtment
Imporence In Young Men
Types Of Erectile Dysfu7nction
Drugstodre Levitra 20 mg
Cialis Online Pharmwacy
Cialis Witho0ut Prescription
Cizalis Tablets
Cialis Heart Attackk
Viagra Prescription Onli9ne
Eli Lilly Cialisx
Purchass Levitra
Levitra Stuffy Noase
Blood Pressure Drugs Impoltence
Genuine Levitfa
Impotence Psychological Causws
Cialis Withoout Prescription
Cialis Without Prescroiption
Cheap V9iagra
Imootence Psychological Causes
Genjeric Cialis Tadalafil
Impotence Pseychological Causes
Generic Cialjs
Causes Erectilfe Dysfunction Young Men
Types Of Erectile Dysfunct5ion
Order Cialie
Levitra Sald
High Cholesterol Impogence
Viagra Wihout A Prescription
Impotence Psychological Cau8ses
Multtiple Sclerosis Impotence
Generic Cioalis Tadalafil
Cheap Viabgra No Prescription
Levitra Witho7t Prescription
Viqgra 100mg
Viagra Fo5 Sale
Levvitra Sale
Discoount Cialis
Levltra Sale
Lervitra Mexico
Visgra Side Effects
Viagrza 100mg
Erectil eErectile Dysfunction
Levi5tra Pills
Purchase Levtira
Sildenafil Citrate Onlikne
Canadian Pharmacy Cialies
Levitra Without Pescription
Cialis Alpha Blockerse
Impotence Treaqtment
L4vitra
Levi8tra Dose
Tadalaf9l Without Prescription
Cialis Tabl4ts
Pflzer Viagra
Vardenafil Levitrsa
Viagra Salr
Natural Viagrra
Canadian Pharmacy Levitrda
Nerve Damage Impotenxe
Mltiple Sclerosis Impotence
Impotence Psychological Cause
Cializ Back Pain
Viagra Sildenafdil Citrate
Cialis Heatr Attack
Vioagra 50mg
Nerve Damagwe Impotence
Types Of Erectile Dysfuncgion
Levirta Free Trial
Causes EErectile Dysfunction Young Men
Impotence Medicaxtion
Viara Side Effects
CCialis Side Effects
Viag4a UK
Generic Cialis Tadaafil
Impotence Of Proofreadingf
Natural Viagfra
Impot4ence Psychological Causes
Erectile Dysfunctionm Symptoms
Types Of rEectile Dysfunction
Erecdtile Dysfunction In Men
Discopunt Cialis
Sildenafil Citrate Onlins
Causes E5ectile Dysfunction Young Men
Viagra Cosr
Viazgra Sample
Viahra Without A Prescription
Cialis 100 mjg
Impotfence Medication
Male Impofence
Hpow To Take Viagra
Cheap Viagra No Prescrription
Free iVagra
Male Erectile Dijsorder
Cialisx Pills
Arginine Erectilr Dysfunction
Buy VViagra
Impotence Of Peroofreading
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sex helpful
Foreign Press tells about ordinary achievements of world science. At this time, scientists have found what factors depends on the power of sexual attraction and how men and women are betrayals. It was found that even men can develop a "conditioned reflex" fidelity, and love on a subconscious level, "blind" man, that he did not notice the temptations, wrote inopressa.ru.
British The Independent article "Science of passion" wrote about the studies on sexual attraction. Understanding what is the attraction, would better cope with difficulties in the intimate sphere, explains the newspaper.
Sex is useful, and the ability to experience orgasm - is proof of general health. Recently, scientists from Wales, found that men who often have an orgasm, the likelihood of heart disease decreases by 50%. In addition, sex raises self-esteem. Men tend with sexuality to prove their own masculinity, and some women, sex, and does need, however, in order to ensure its attractiveness.
In addition, women's libido is directly linked to reproductive function. It is known that the libido increases during the follicular phase of the cycle when the probability of conception are highest.
Regardless of age, sex enhances the quality of life, mood and overall health. According to available data, with the age of sexual intimacy gives people more pleasure. The study, which involved men aged over 60 found that older people do not worry so much about his accomplishments in his bed, as young and sex gives them more pleasure, regardless of how serious the problem with erectile dysfunction, they are experiencing.
Danish researchers using the survey found that in the oldest age group (average age - 81), women basically did not have sex because of lack of desire, and men - because of problems with erection. Thus, male old age "soul yearns, even if the flesh is weak", the publication noted.
In long-standing partners attracted to each other increases in those days, when they get on well, and decreases when their relationship is far from ideal. The influence of this factor is more noticeable in women, but men can also benefit from the fact that his partner feels more attraction, the newspaper said. On the sexual needs of women affected and self-esteem: if a partner says the woman that she looks like a stimulant, or a declaration of love, it increases the attraction.
North American scientists also sit on their hands. They explored the unconscious attitudes of men and women to treason and found that they react differently to temptation, wrote The Los Angeles Times. Benefits of a permanent partner are huge, like the newspaper. Long-term relations improve mood, enhance health, prolong life and allow to pass their genes to future generations. That is why the fight against the temptation of adultery in the human brain in a stock there are a number of tricks.
Specialists from McGill University in Montreal conducted a series of experiments, which attracted 150 women and men to determine how the human subconscious mind reacts to the threat to existing relationships. The first test was a conversation with an attractive person of the opposite sex, after which the subjects played with "in the association. It was found that in women after such meetings are waking up anxiety, and men - no.
Then the volunteers were subjected to this temptation: they were invited to talk with an actor or actress, who own the art of subtle flirtation (participants in the experiment did not know that they face an actor). After that guinea asked the question: how would they react to the fault of his "second half" - late or lie? Men after a conversation with an attractive girl spoke more critically about their present partner, and women, by contrast, were more tolerant to the sallies boyfriends.
Thus, unconsciously, a man considers flirting girl as a good alternative partner. She also sees an attractive young man's alternative, but felt threatened by him, and therefore seeks to strengthen existing relationships.
The researchers then turned to the computer game, where participants were required to decompose the scattered across the screen image: photos of animals, fruit and attractive people. Women are instinctively repelled by the image beauties, and men, by contrast, attracted by good looking girls closer.
However, men can develop a conditioned reflex of loyalty, say researchers. Once the subjects were asked to plan the tactics to protect their relationship as an example the situation with a casual acquaintance in a bar, representatives of the stronger sex have become more cautious. In virtual space, they are subconsciously avoid places with the image of an attractive girl, which occurred only a few thousandths of a second - that is, recorded only subconscious.
In addition, both men and women love can suppress the thought of treason, officers found University of California at Los Angeles. Moreover, love can selectively block the memories. So, in love, looking at the image a nice representative of the opposite sex, and later could not remember important details about it. They could not tell whether what they had seen a good man figure, but remember what he was wearing and that he held in his hands.
And the best way to cope with temptation - it just did not notice, says the newspaper. It was established with the help of a special computer program, view a lover man quickly distracted from the beautiful images with the opposite sex. Surprisingly, in men it is more likely than women.
"Men and women face different tests in their relationships, but long-term benefits are great and for those for the other - leads The Los Angeles Times commentary psychologist Gian Gonzaga. - The idea is that people are ready to defend their relationship, when aware that they are something threatening.
British The Independent article "Science of passion" wrote about the studies on sexual attraction. Understanding what is the attraction, would better cope with difficulties in the intimate sphere, explains the newspaper.
Sex is useful, and the ability to experience orgasm - is proof of general health. Recently, scientists from Wales, found that men who often have an orgasm, the likelihood of heart disease decreases by 50%. In addition, sex raises self-esteem. Men tend with sexuality to prove their own masculinity, and some women, sex, and does need, however, in order to ensure its attractiveness.
In addition, women's libido is directly linked to reproductive function. It is known that the libido increases during the follicular phase of the cycle when the probability of conception are highest.
Regardless of age, sex enhances the quality of life, mood and overall health. According to available data, with the age of sexual intimacy gives people more pleasure. The study, which involved men aged over 60 found that older people do not worry so much about his accomplishments in his bed, as young and sex gives them more pleasure, regardless of how serious the problem with erectile dysfunction, they are experiencing.
Danish researchers using the survey found that in the oldest age group (average age - 81), women basically did not have sex because of lack of desire, and men - because of problems with erection. Thus, male old age "soul yearns, even if the flesh is weak", the publication noted.
In long-standing partners attracted to each other increases in those days, when they get on well, and decreases when their relationship is far from ideal. The influence of this factor is more noticeable in women, but men can also benefit from the fact that his partner feels more attraction, the newspaper said. On the sexual needs of women affected and self-esteem: if a partner says the woman that she looks like a stimulant, or a declaration of love, it increases the attraction.
North American scientists also sit on their hands. They explored the unconscious attitudes of men and women to treason and found that they react differently to temptation, wrote The Los Angeles Times. Benefits of a permanent partner are huge, like the newspaper. Long-term relations improve mood, enhance health, prolong life and allow to pass their genes to future generations. That is why the fight against the temptation of adultery in the human brain in a stock there are a number of tricks.
Specialists from McGill University in Montreal conducted a series of experiments, which attracted 150 women and men to determine how the human subconscious mind reacts to the threat to existing relationships. The first test was a conversation with an attractive person of the opposite sex, after which the subjects played with "in the association. It was found that in women after such meetings are waking up anxiety, and men - no.
Then the volunteers were subjected to this temptation: they were invited to talk with an actor or actress, who own the art of subtle flirtation (participants in the experiment did not know that they face an actor). After that guinea asked the question: how would they react to the fault of his "second half" - late or lie? Men after a conversation with an attractive girl spoke more critically about their present partner, and women, by contrast, were more tolerant to the sallies boyfriends.
Thus, unconsciously, a man considers flirting girl as a good alternative partner. She also sees an attractive young man's alternative, but felt threatened by him, and therefore seeks to strengthen existing relationships.
The researchers then turned to the computer game, where participants were required to decompose the scattered across the screen image: photos of animals, fruit and attractive people. Women are instinctively repelled by the image beauties, and men, by contrast, attracted by good looking girls closer.
However, men can develop a conditioned reflex of loyalty, say researchers. Once the subjects were asked to plan the tactics to protect their relationship as an example the situation with a casual acquaintance in a bar, representatives of the stronger sex have become more cautious. In virtual space, they are subconsciously avoid places with the image of an attractive girl, which occurred only a few thousandths of a second - that is, recorded only subconscious.
In addition, both men and women love can suppress the thought of treason, officers found University of California at Los Angeles. Moreover, love can selectively block the memories. So, in love, looking at the image a nice representative of the opposite sex, and later could not remember important details about it. They could not tell whether what they had seen a good man figure, but remember what he was wearing and that he held in his hands.
And the best way to cope with temptation - it just did not notice, says the newspaper. It was established with the help of a special computer program, view a lover man quickly distracted from the beautiful images with the opposite sex. Surprisingly, in men it is more likely than women.
"Men and women face different tests in their relationships, but long-term benefits are great and for those for the other - leads The Los Angeles Times commentary psychologist Gian Gonzaga. - The idea is that people are ready to defend their relationship, when aware that they are something threatening.
Women are not predictable in contrast to men
Psychologists from the United States after the regular research on ways to select the second half of the men and women came to the conclusion that choosing a partner woman and her interest is very difficult to predict, in comparison with the choice of men.
Results showed that women often draw attention to a man of strong and straight. In addition, a woman may behave compulsively, and flirt, but not really be interested in continuing the acquaintance. Experts noted that the intentions of women difficult to predict, in contrast to the intentions of men.
In the experiment, analyzed videotapes passing fad, when participants were asked to literally minutes of intercourse, and then they declared to each other, who like someone who is not, and who wants to continue to communicate.
It was found that 80% of the men wrongly predicted the women's opinions about the partners and could not guess their choice. Women are also more accurately determined, whether the woman liked the man.
The result was that more women are being misled men, flirting just.
Results showed that women often draw attention to a man of strong and straight. In addition, a woman may behave compulsively, and flirt, but not really be interested in continuing the acquaintance. Experts noted that the intentions of women difficult to predict, in contrast to the intentions of men.
In the experiment, analyzed videotapes passing fad, when participants were asked to literally minutes of intercourse, and then they declared to each other, who like someone who is not, and who wants to continue to communicate.
It was found that 80% of the men wrongly predicted the women's opinions about the partners and could not guess their choice. Women are also more accurately determined, whether the woman liked the man.
The result was that more women are being misled men, flirting just.
Self-esteem and family relationships
The first sign of trouble in the family relations - the lack of a smile on a woman's face. Tensely compressed lips, sad wrinkle, cutting his forehead, dormant, dull eyes, sad, anguished or angry facial expression, plod. When you meet a woman, it can not but feel the pain and realize that the house she was wrong.
Wanting to change something in our lives, we women, we begin to act spontaneously, at nothing: indignant, crying, shouting, rolls up the stage, forgetting that there is nothing more repulsive to a man and harder for children than thunderous woman, cursed, threatened and insulted .
Not better, and self-deprecating groans, tears of helplessness, pleas for compassion, respect for the request, begging love. Do not bring success and measures of the type "prison love": the refusal of communication, silence, prohibition of intimacy. And if we add to this painful the inevitable guilt that arises every time after another "stormy scenes"? In short, what would you do under the influence of resentment or anger, anger or despair, all is not only not lead to success, but on the contrary, tighter zavyazhet sites family conflict.
But no matter how hopeless deadlock and neither seemed to us a family situation, a lot can change, if strongly reject attempts to alter the life of the old, futile, and make every effort to find new ones.
Think for yourself, after all, a difficult situation did not come immediately, not in one day. The pain, grievances, problems have been accumulating gradually. Therefore, the same gradual and, perhaps, be a long process of healing and the family.
How to start? With yourself! You should begin with the ability to understand ourselves and to love. Understand their own uniqueness in this world and love for this and for all what you think, feel, create - for all that is good and good comes from you!
Is it difficult? But choose a time for yourself, stop it, at least half an hour, and again going over in memory insulting, wounding words, do not go back to the dark memories. Just ask yourself - who you are, how are you? Think about those days, the moments when you were happy and enjoyed themselves, about the deeds and actions, for which you self-respect, everything what you are proud.
It does not matter whether it is a great achievement at work or to hear a lot of nice compliments once your mind in a new dress. Maybe it will be the memories of summer trips or unusually pleasant vacation, the first love or good deeds, committed by you to someone. Going over it all in memory, focus, feel like individuals, feel his own worth in this life.
That's the feeling of self-worth is the most important psychological factor that determines everything that happens to a man inside his own peace of mind and around him, in communicating with other people. This imprint itself, its personal significance, which have each of us.
This feeling is not inherited, not genetically conditioned. It is formed in us from birth to death, so never too late to appreciate themselves. Anyone, even the most difficult, the time of our lives may become a primary impetus to improve its relations with itself.
When this takes place, will change your view on what is happening around you. You must remember and know that everything that you feel you are doing, worrying, your mind and soul, body and feelings - this is only yours and nobody's more! You belong to your dreams and deeds, your victories and successes, your accomplishments and your mistakes. And you live with all this, dispose of, building their lives and family relationships.
You are on forces and take a decision and execute it to the end. Now in a tranquil state, you can think about family relationships, which have become a serious problem, to find in them their own miscalculations and mistakes. If you love your husband and want to keep the family together, try to understand what he wants from you, which is seeking. It is possible that the cause of the deterioration of family relationships have become so insignificant things, inflated offense that the sound reflection, it hurts for his inability to control himself at the right time.
All people are different, and way of thinking, perception of things, even the husband and wife who have lived many years in one house may be different. Try to understand the claim of her husband, compare them with their grievances. If there is to be a lack of understanding, inability to communicate with each other, what annoys you, offends, insults, seek the path to this understanding.
Dissatisfaction, reproaches, bewilderment or resentment should not empty into a hysteria of insults to each other on the head, mixing all here that have accumulated over many years of claim. If you are offended by something - say so calmly as possible, explain why you are offended at this or that behavior, actions, words. Believe me, my husband you would understand, if ... if he also wants to preserve the family, peace and prosperity at home and in family relations.
And if not? Well, think for yourself, whether you want to live with a man who, knowing everything is deliberately trying to hurt you? And does so even after you have repeatedly explained to him the depth of their resentment. All the same, sooner or later, this family is destroyed, but how much humiliation and tears have to swallow before the end?
One reason for the deterioration of family relationships is a betrayal of her husband. And then you should not punish himself for what he found better than you, that you are not bad, that you do not like. The cause of infidelity are not necessarily shortcomings of his wife. But what to do next, what to do - it is necessary to solve it. Definitive conclusion that can not be forgiven, and output - a divorce, do so immediately so it is not necessary, even if you advise it on all sides. Too many women, simply a mistake her husband, live happily for many years. But if you understand clearly that will never be able to remove from the heart of resentment and forgive, decide whether to live on.
A woman with a developed sense of dignity, self-consciously value of supporting self-assessment at the appropriate level, no one can compel to live as she wants! Every day we have lived through - not a draft, which is tomorrow can be rewritten without corrections. Even the time fixed bugs are notched at the bottom of our memory, and what to talk about serious issues, which destroy us all the time?
But to make important decisions, we should calmly and deliberately. If we want to be listened to talk quietly. Louder than insulting and hysterical sound arguments, the less chance that they will hear. On the contrary, you will have to look no less than insulting words to resist the onslaught, without any concern, you are right or not.
The woman, confident in itself, creates an atmosphere around the peace, goodwill and love. If you are able to understand this, you will understand and your loved ones, they may begin to feel as they began to feel and yourself. You will listen, you will start to look closely, you will be interested, perhaps, as this has never happened before in your life ... And all this could be the beginning of the happy life of your dreams!
Wanting to change something in our lives, we women, we begin to act spontaneously, at nothing: indignant, crying, shouting, rolls up the stage, forgetting that there is nothing more repulsive to a man and harder for children than thunderous woman, cursed, threatened and insulted .
Not better, and self-deprecating groans, tears of helplessness, pleas for compassion, respect for the request, begging love. Do not bring success and measures of the type "prison love": the refusal of communication, silence, prohibition of intimacy. And if we add to this painful the inevitable guilt that arises every time after another "stormy scenes"? In short, what would you do under the influence of resentment or anger, anger or despair, all is not only not lead to success, but on the contrary, tighter zavyazhet sites family conflict.
But no matter how hopeless deadlock and neither seemed to us a family situation, a lot can change, if strongly reject attempts to alter the life of the old, futile, and make every effort to find new ones.
Think for yourself, after all, a difficult situation did not come immediately, not in one day. The pain, grievances, problems have been accumulating gradually. Therefore, the same gradual and, perhaps, be a long process of healing and the family.
How to start? With yourself! You should begin with the ability to understand ourselves and to love. Understand their own uniqueness in this world and love for this and for all what you think, feel, create - for all that is good and good comes from you!
Is it difficult? But choose a time for yourself, stop it, at least half an hour, and again going over in memory insulting, wounding words, do not go back to the dark memories. Just ask yourself - who you are, how are you? Think about those days, the moments when you were happy and enjoyed themselves, about the deeds and actions, for which you self-respect, everything what you are proud.
It does not matter whether it is a great achievement at work or to hear a lot of nice compliments once your mind in a new dress. Maybe it will be the memories of summer trips or unusually pleasant vacation, the first love or good deeds, committed by you to someone. Going over it all in memory, focus, feel like individuals, feel his own worth in this life.
That's the feeling of self-worth is the most important psychological factor that determines everything that happens to a man inside his own peace of mind and around him, in communicating with other people. This imprint itself, its personal significance, which have each of us.
This feeling is not inherited, not genetically conditioned. It is formed in us from birth to death, so never too late to appreciate themselves. Anyone, even the most difficult, the time of our lives may become a primary impetus to improve its relations with itself.
When this takes place, will change your view on what is happening around you. You must remember and know that everything that you feel you are doing, worrying, your mind and soul, body and feelings - this is only yours and nobody's more! You belong to your dreams and deeds, your victories and successes, your accomplishments and your mistakes. And you live with all this, dispose of, building their lives and family relationships.
You are on forces and take a decision and execute it to the end. Now in a tranquil state, you can think about family relationships, which have become a serious problem, to find in them their own miscalculations and mistakes. If you love your husband and want to keep the family together, try to understand what he wants from you, which is seeking. It is possible that the cause of the deterioration of family relationships have become so insignificant things, inflated offense that the sound reflection, it hurts for his inability to control himself at the right time.
All people are different, and way of thinking, perception of things, even the husband and wife who have lived many years in one house may be different. Try to understand the claim of her husband, compare them with their grievances. If there is to be a lack of understanding, inability to communicate with each other, what annoys you, offends, insults, seek the path to this understanding.
Dissatisfaction, reproaches, bewilderment or resentment should not empty into a hysteria of insults to each other on the head, mixing all here that have accumulated over many years of claim. If you are offended by something - say so calmly as possible, explain why you are offended at this or that behavior, actions, words. Believe me, my husband you would understand, if ... if he also wants to preserve the family, peace and prosperity at home and in family relations.
And if not? Well, think for yourself, whether you want to live with a man who, knowing everything is deliberately trying to hurt you? And does so even after you have repeatedly explained to him the depth of their resentment. All the same, sooner or later, this family is destroyed, but how much humiliation and tears have to swallow before the end?
One reason for the deterioration of family relationships is a betrayal of her husband. And then you should not punish himself for what he found better than you, that you are not bad, that you do not like. The cause of infidelity are not necessarily shortcomings of his wife. But what to do next, what to do - it is necessary to solve it. Definitive conclusion that can not be forgiven, and output - a divorce, do so immediately so it is not necessary, even if you advise it on all sides. Too many women, simply a mistake her husband, live happily for many years. But if you understand clearly that will never be able to remove from the heart of resentment and forgive, decide whether to live on.
A woman with a developed sense of dignity, self-consciously value of supporting self-assessment at the appropriate level, no one can compel to live as she wants! Every day we have lived through - not a draft, which is tomorrow can be rewritten without corrections. Even the time fixed bugs are notched at the bottom of our memory, and what to talk about serious issues, which destroy us all the time?
But to make important decisions, we should calmly and deliberately. If we want to be listened to talk quietly. Louder than insulting and hysterical sound arguments, the less chance that they will hear. On the contrary, you will have to look no less than insulting words to resist the onslaught, without any concern, you are right or not.
The woman, confident in itself, creates an atmosphere around the peace, goodwill and love. If you are able to understand this, you will understand and your loved ones, they may begin to feel as they began to feel and yourself. You will listen, you will start to look closely, you will be interested, perhaps, as this has never happened before in your life ... And all this could be the beginning of the happy life of your dreams!
Friday, September 18, 2009
We destroy the myths about prostate cancer
Myth number 1. Patients with prostate cancer die, but not from him.
In fact, ill with prostate cancer every 6 th man, and die from it only every 35th. With some forms of cancer can really live for years, but we should not forget that prostate cancer - the second most common oncological disease deaths in men.
Myth number 2. Do not be screened because the doctors themselves argue about its effectiveness.
In fact, objective survey - to detect disease at an early stage when treatment is more effective. There are two types of surveys: a blood test for PSA content and finger examination of the rectum. Doctors do not dispute the need for both these surveys.
PSA, prostate specific antigen, normally found in blood in small quantities. The level of PSA usually rises with prostate cancer, as well as prostate or benign prostatic hyperplasia. Like most tests, PSA test does not guarantee 100 percent accuracy of diagnosis. In some cases the survey is conducted using invasive methods (eg, biopsy of the prostate gland).
On the other hand, the results of the PSA test may be normal even in the presence of prostate cancer. Since 1990, when the PSA test was introduced into clinical practice, the death rate from prostate cancer decreased. However, not all doctors are sure that the PSA test is the cause of this decline.
The debate about the need to monitor the health of all men with PSA test conducted so far. Nevertheless, a survey for the presence of prostate cancer is recommended for men older than 50 years. If your close relatives (father, brother, son) had prostate cancer, should begin screened with 45. The question of costs to be screened or not, is decided individually.
Myth number 3. After removal of the prostate men become impotent.
Actually prostatectomy - an operation to remove the prostate cancer stricken. Sometimes this can be affected by the nerves that control erections. In the first months after surgery, most men face in varying degrees of erectile dysfunction. How long will the disorder depends on age, erections before surgery and type of surgical intervention.
Methods of operation, allowing to avoid damage to the nerves, reduces the risk of erectile dysfunction. If necessary, an erection can be sustained with injections into the penis and special adaptations.
Myth number 4. All men are incontinent after prostatectomy incontinence.
Actually incontinence - one of the major side effects of surgery to remove the prostate gland. For most men, it goes through a few weeks or months after the operation. According to statistics, over 5 years after surgery about 1 / 3 men celebrate stress incontinence of urine (leak urine when coughing, exercise, laughing or sneezing). Severe incontinence was observed in only 5% of cases.
The risk of incontinence is reduced if the operation is conducted in large cancer centers under the guidance of experienced professionals.
Rx Kentucky
In fact, ill with prostate cancer every 6 th man, and die from it only every 35th. With some forms of cancer can really live for years, but we should not forget that prostate cancer - the second most common oncological disease deaths in men.
Myth number 2. Do not be screened because the doctors themselves argue about its effectiveness.
In fact, objective survey - to detect disease at an early stage when treatment is more effective. There are two types of surveys: a blood test for PSA content and finger examination of the rectum. Doctors do not dispute the need for both these surveys.
PSA, prostate specific antigen, normally found in blood in small quantities. The level of PSA usually rises with prostate cancer, as well as prostate or benign prostatic hyperplasia. Like most tests, PSA test does not guarantee 100 percent accuracy of diagnosis. In some cases the survey is conducted using invasive methods (eg, biopsy of the prostate gland).
On the other hand, the results of the PSA test may be normal even in the presence of prostate cancer. Since 1990, when the PSA test was introduced into clinical practice, the death rate from prostate cancer decreased. However, not all doctors are sure that the PSA test is the cause of this decline.
The debate about the need to monitor the health of all men with PSA test conducted so far. Nevertheless, a survey for the presence of prostate cancer is recommended for men older than 50 years. If your close relatives (father, brother, son) had prostate cancer, should begin screened with 45. The question of costs to be screened or not, is decided individually.
Myth number 3. After removal of the prostate men become impotent.
Actually prostatectomy - an operation to remove the prostate cancer stricken. Sometimes this can be affected by the nerves that control erections. In the first months after surgery, most men face in varying degrees of erectile dysfunction. How long will the disorder depends on age, erections before surgery and type of surgical intervention.
Methods of operation, allowing to avoid damage to the nerves, reduces the risk of erectile dysfunction. If necessary, an erection can be sustained with injections into the penis and special adaptations.
Myth number 4. All men are incontinent after prostatectomy incontinence.
Actually incontinence - one of the major side effects of surgery to remove the prostate gland. For most men, it goes through a few weeks or months after the operation. According to statistics, over 5 years after surgery about 1 / 3 men celebrate stress incontinence of urine (leak urine when coughing, exercise, laughing or sneezing). Severe incontinence was observed in only 5% of cases.
The risk of incontinence is reduced if the operation is conducted in large cancer centers under the guidance of experienced professionals.
Rx Kentucky
PSA test
The purpose of PSA test
Normally the blood contains a small amount of prostate-specific antigen (PSA). PSA - is a specific protein that produces prostate gland in adult men. With increasing, inflammation and other diseases of the prostate PSA level in blood increases. He rises and prostate cancer. Determine the level of PSA can be a blood test. As with any analysis, there may be false positive and false negative results. Sometimes patients with prostate cancer analysis gives a negative result, and in men with elevated PSA terrible diagnosis is not confirmed.
Men older than 50 years is recommended once a year to pass finger rectal examination and PSA test. People with bad heredity is better to start with screened 45 years. But on this there is another view. Some people are opposed to mandatory to explore all manner of men. Discuss with your doctor the need for the survey is in the case, if you over 50 or in your family history of prostate cancer. Since the usefulness of the test is challenged, you must first with your doctor to evaluate all of its risks and benefits.
Blood test for PSA can also be used to trace the development of disease or assess the effectiveness of the chosen treatment.
Preparing for the PSA test
Special training for PSA test is not required. To avoid false results, it is better to pass PSA test just before the rectal finger examination or two days or more after him.
Analysis
To study the PSA take blood from a vein. The introduction of a needle, you can feel the pain, but it passes quickly. A small portion of the blood gathering in the tube and sent to the laboratory.
Duration
Blood sampling for PSA takes 3-5 minutes.
Bad Analysis: What to do?
If the content slightly higher than normal PSA and rectal examination for anything suspicious is detected, the doctor may order more tests.
The level of PSA exceeding 4 ng / ml, means 20-25% probability of prostate cancer. If the PSA level above 10 ng / ml, the probability of cancer is more than 50%. The higher the level of PSA in the blood, the higher the risk of cancer.
Nevertheless, the result of PSA test by itself is not grounds for a diagnosis of "cancer". The level of PSA may rise by 2-3 times with benign prostatic hyperplasia (increase) of the prostate gland. In addition, he may increase because of infections, inflammatory processes in the prostate gland, and after biopsy or surgery on the prostate.
If the PSA level above the norm, you need to pass transrectal ultrasound of the prostate (TRUS). To confirm the diagnosis of "cancer" also requires data biopsy.
Risks during the PSA test
Itself PSA test is practically no risk. But false positive results of this analysis makes the patient very worried and go through a number of other surveys, strenuous, and false negative result is difficult to diagnose cancer.
Normal limits
The majority of men older than 40 years, the level of PSA in the blood is less than 4 ng / ml. In men younger than 40 years, he should be no more than 2.7 ng / ml.
Rx Mississippi
Normally the blood contains a small amount of prostate-specific antigen (PSA). PSA - is a specific protein that produces prostate gland in adult men. With increasing, inflammation and other diseases of the prostate PSA level in blood increases. He rises and prostate cancer. Determine the level of PSA can be a blood test. As with any analysis, there may be false positive and false negative results. Sometimes patients with prostate cancer analysis gives a negative result, and in men with elevated PSA terrible diagnosis is not confirmed.
Men older than 50 years is recommended once a year to pass finger rectal examination and PSA test. People with bad heredity is better to start with screened 45 years. But on this there is another view. Some people are opposed to mandatory to explore all manner of men. Discuss with your doctor the need for the survey is in the case, if you over 50 or in your family history of prostate cancer. Since the usefulness of the test is challenged, you must first with your doctor to evaluate all of its risks and benefits.
Blood test for PSA can also be used to trace the development of disease or assess the effectiveness of the chosen treatment.
Preparing for the PSA test
Special training for PSA test is not required. To avoid false results, it is better to pass PSA test just before the rectal finger examination or two days or more after him.
Analysis
To study the PSA take blood from a vein. The introduction of a needle, you can feel the pain, but it passes quickly. A small portion of the blood gathering in the tube and sent to the laboratory.
Duration
Blood sampling for PSA takes 3-5 minutes.
Bad Analysis: What to do?
If the content slightly higher than normal PSA and rectal examination for anything suspicious is detected, the doctor may order more tests.
The level of PSA exceeding 4 ng / ml, means 20-25% probability of prostate cancer. If the PSA level above 10 ng / ml, the probability of cancer is more than 50%. The higher the level of PSA in the blood, the higher the risk of cancer.
Nevertheless, the result of PSA test by itself is not grounds for a diagnosis of "cancer". The level of PSA may rise by 2-3 times with benign prostatic hyperplasia (increase) of the prostate gland. In addition, he may increase because of infections, inflammatory processes in the prostate gland, and after biopsy or surgery on the prostate.
If the PSA level above the norm, you need to pass transrectal ultrasound of the prostate (TRUS). To confirm the diagnosis of "cancer" also requires data biopsy.
Risks during the PSA test
Itself PSA test is practically no risk. But false positive results of this analysis makes the patient very worried and go through a number of other surveys, strenuous, and false negative result is difficult to diagnose cancer.
Normal limits
The majority of men older than 40 years, the level of PSA in the blood is less than 4 ng / ml. In men younger than 40 years, he should be no more than 2.7 ng / ml.
Rx Mississippi
The first examination of the prostate
The doctor mentioned the need to be examined by the prostate gland? You must have the tension of this idea. After all, knowing where this iron, you understand in advance that its inspection would not be the most enjoyable.
Examination of the prostate gland is called a finger examination of the rectum, or rectal examination. The need for such research, sooner or later faces the majority of men. Rectal examination is carried out during a planned medical examination, if you have problems with urination or other unpleasant symptoms. In any case, it is important to know how it is conducted.
Procedure
You have to remove the underwear and wrap paper towel around the waist so that the back was open.
The prostate is located in front of the rectum. To a doctor could examine her, you need to bend down. You can stand, leaning his arms on the table, or lie on your side, bent knees pressed to his chest.
Most likely, the doctor explained what he would do, and help to relax.
To lock the body in position, the doctor may put one hand on your lower abdomen. Then he pushes the buttocks and inspect the anus.
The next stage - an introduction to the anus with a gloved finger in the grease. As the penetration into the rectum, the doctor makes a pause to allow the sphincter to relax.
Voltage at the time of the survey is quite natural, but still will try to calm down. Then, during the inspection, you will experience less discomfort. To help relax the sphincters, the doctor will ask a little tighter (as before defecation). At this point better slowly exhale the air through the mouth.
Physician examines the wall of the rectum and presses on the prostate to estimate its size, the presence of tumors and seals. At this point you may feel the urge to urinate. Some feel nausea and weakness. Do not worry: it's normal. However, feeling dizzy, immediately tell your doctor.
All survey takes a little more than a minute.
After rectal examination the doctor checks the feces left on hand, the presence of blood. It may be a sign of hemorrhoids, polyps or colon cancer.
A digital rectal examination may cause discomfort but not pain. If you're hurt, tell your doctor. Increased sensitivity to touch may be indicative of prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate gland).
Four useful tips:
* If you have hemorrhoids, tell the doctor about this.
* Breathe mouth and slowly. Do not hold your breath.
* Try to relax. Think about something pleasant.
* Tell your doctor if you are hurt.
After examination the doctor will give a napkin and indicate the place where you can put himself in order, and then report the results.
Erectile Dysfunction Rx
Examination of the prostate gland is called a finger examination of the rectum, or rectal examination. The need for such research, sooner or later faces the majority of men. Rectal examination is carried out during a planned medical examination, if you have problems with urination or other unpleasant symptoms. In any case, it is important to know how it is conducted.
Procedure
You have to remove the underwear and wrap paper towel around the waist so that the back was open.
The prostate is located in front of the rectum. To a doctor could examine her, you need to bend down. You can stand, leaning his arms on the table, or lie on your side, bent knees pressed to his chest.
Most likely, the doctor explained what he would do, and help to relax.
To lock the body in position, the doctor may put one hand on your lower abdomen. Then he pushes the buttocks and inspect the anus.
The next stage - an introduction to the anus with a gloved finger in the grease. As the penetration into the rectum, the doctor makes a pause to allow the sphincter to relax.
Voltage at the time of the survey is quite natural, but still will try to calm down. Then, during the inspection, you will experience less discomfort. To help relax the sphincters, the doctor will ask a little tighter (as before defecation). At this point better slowly exhale the air through the mouth.
Physician examines the wall of the rectum and presses on the prostate to estimate its size, the presence of tumors and seals. At this point you may feel the urge to urinate. Some feel nausea and weakness. Do not worry: it's normal. However, feeling dizzy, immediately tell your doctor.
All survey takes a little more than a minute.
After rectal examination the doctor checks the feces left on hand, the presence of blood. It may be a sign of hemorrhoids, polyps or colon cancer.
A digital rectal examination may cause discomfort but not pain. If you're hurt, tell your doctor. Increased sensitivity to touch may be indicative of prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate gland).
Four useful tips:
* If you have hemorrhoids, tell the doctor about this.
* Breathe mouth and slowly. Do not hold your breath.
* Try to relax. Think about something pleasant.
* Tell your doctor if you are hurt.
After examination the doctor will give a napkin and indicate the place where you can put himself in order, and then report the results.
Erectile Dysfunction Rx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)